Prehistoric YouTubers
by Remember Ember
Summary: What if you were to wake up from a wonderful sleep 200,000 years in the past? When early man was just starting to figure things out? Join Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, and Pewdiepie on an adventure of a lifetime in this timey wimey adventure.


Mark's eyes fluttered open after the best sleep he'd had in... years. He hadn't had a single nightmare, something he hadn't accomplished since he was a child. He actually felt fully rested. His eyes stared up at the beautiful, blue, blue sky in awe. Strange colorful flowers rose up around his face, swaying across his vision. It was peaceful and quiet. And then he heard a scream.

A very loud, very girly, and very Swedish, scream.

"JAVLA HELVETE FITTA!" he heard as he sat up. He was in a clearing surrounded by humongous trees. Big colorful flowers and tall yet soft green grass rose up around him. He stood, so he could try to get a better lay of the land. And then he saw something that made him fall back down, a giggling mess. Felix was running from the trees his arms outstretched in front of him. He was screaming like a little girl, his frosty blond hair sticking up everywhere. Jack was chasing behind him, a large smile on his face, and dirt masking it.

If it weren't for the green floof, Mark wouldn't have recognized him. Jack was growling and giggling, and Felix looked absolutely traumatized. When Jack managed to catch Felix, pouncing on him, Felix shrieked liked the girly man he is. Mark chuckled, and watched for a moment as Jack started to tickle the Swedish meatball. He couldn't help but join in, using the tall grass to hide as he stalked closer.

In all honesty, he thought this was a strange dream, and didn't think much on it. So, when he jumped Jack, he was surprised to find that when Jack's hands smacked his face in a giggling fear, it actually hurt. A lot. He tumbled off with a strange look. Staring wide eyed, "This is... not a dream, is it?" he mumbled quietly, rubbing his shoulder. Jack blinked at him, his head tilting as Felix chuckled awkwardly behind him.

"What the fuck are you talkin' 'bout, bro?" the Swedish boy asked, his voice high. Mark turned to look at him, then back to Jack. Sean was just... sitting there, staring off into the distance. It was unnerving to see the normally happy and cheerful Irish youtuber so... blank.

"I don't think I- _we_ \- are dreaming," he mumbled again, going over to Felix and pinching his shoulder.

"Ow! That fucking hurt- o-oh..." Felix's eyes were wide, he opened his mouth to say something, when Jack's voice interrupted him. Mark turned to the Irishman, to find him pointing wide eyed at the trees behind them.

"Uh, guys? You might want to look behind you..." Mark's head popped up over the tall grass, Felix right behind him. There was a person, standing there. Watching. They had a large nose, dark tan skin,and very long very messy black hair. They looked like one of the prehistoric peoples, Neanderthals, that people learned about in history or science or something. Mark stood fully, noticing the, who he presumed was a man, had on a few animal pelts and leaves mixed together to create a crude skirt sort of covering.

He stepped closer, "Hey!" he called, waving his hand. "We, uh, we seemed to have been taken from our hotels and brought here? Could you tell us where we are? And maybe why?" he asked, stumbling forwards over hidden logs, roots, and clumps of plant life. The man growled at him, lifting a pointed, spear-like, stick in Mark's direction as he got closer. Mark froze in his steps, especially after the man called some strange sounds, and a large creature came from the trees. It appeared to be very dog-like towards the man.

It was large, almost bear-like in size. It's facial structure was closer to that of a large cats and dogs mixed together. Sharp canine teeth were easily visible, as well as dangerous, hungry eyes. Mark swallowed, holding his hands up in surrender, "We don't want to hurt you," he said slowly, eying the strange dog creature, "We just want to go home.

The man grunted at him again, making strange noises and hand gestures, before howling and pointing straight at the group of three. Immediately, other Neanderthalic looking people, men and women alike, appeared, as well as more of the dog like creatures. Mark felt a cautious tap on his shoulder, and he nodded his head, his eyes continuing to stare at the beast and men.

"We should go..." he heard Felix whisper. Again, he nodded. The first man yelled again, pointing at them, staring at Mark with such curiosity, and yet also a burning hatred, he was unable to move for a moment. That is, before he noticed the others of the small band of people started running. He turned and ran, grabbing Felix and Jack's shoulders as he went. Adrenaline rushed through his body as he continuously tripped and stumbled, "To the trees!" he called, making sure to stay by the other two.

As they ran, Felix screamed and sped up, rushing past both Mark and Jack. He was swearing in Swedish, eyes wide and hair a wild frosty blond mess rushing through the wind as he raced ahead. Mark and Jack slowed in amusement, before freezing at a growl behind them. Simultaneously the two turned to stare at three of the large creatures, before turning to each other, fear in their eyes. They screamed, and ran to catch up with Felix, the strange mammals chasing behind them. They ran for what felt like ages, adrenaline the only thing keeping the terrified youtubers running.

They kept going even after the beasts seemed to loose interest, fearing they had just trailed back to give a faux sense of security. The boys were just paranoid baby's though, ones who'd played one too many horror games. The 'dogs' had gone too far from their masters and returned home, leaving the three behind. By the time they stopped running, the sun had risen fairly high in the sky, and they were starting to get hungry. They slowed to a halt, panting and tumbling to the ground like sacks of potatoes.

Jack's stomach grumbled, Felix moaning in pain about his feet, while Mark held back from dry heaving on the ground. "Holy shit..." Jack mumbled, sitting up and continuing to catch his breath with heavy breaths, "What _were_ those things?"

"Helvete if I know..." Felix mumbled under his breath, sitting up as well. He removed his socks to massage his feet, "Why are we not wearing shoes? We're still in our pajamas!" Both Jack and Mark, after the latter had stopped his dry heaving, both checked to see Felix was right. They were all in pajamas. And all three were silently thankful they'd decided to sleep with shirts and bottoms on the night before.

Mark at that point, began to chuckle. Both Jack and Felix stared at him as if he had to heads, but he continued. His shoulders hunched and little giggles flew past his lips, hands coming up to cover his face and grab his hair.

"We're lost! We're lost in the middle of no where with Neanderthal people and dinosaur dogs!" he said amidst his laughter. He was fairly certain he was going crazy, and the day had only just begun. He faintly heard a Swedish high pitched panicky laughter next to him, before a thump of knees hitting solid ground sounded. He turned his head, still letting out breathy, panicked laughter, to see Felix, hunched over on the ground gripping his frosty tips, mumbling to himself.

"Den enda gången... den enda gången jag bestämmer mig för att komma till Pax!" Felix murmured in a high pitched voice. Mark's breathing slowed down as his panicked laughter diminished. He watched as Jack knelt down next to Felix, rubbing his back. Felix's face lifted, tear stained and red. Mark's heart clenched seeing his friend in such despair. It immediately sobered him up, and he reached out to help comfort the Swede. Felix sniffled, and chuckled sadly.

"S-sorry, bros..." he mumbled, wiping his face with his arm. Mark smiled in a way he hoped would be comforting, "I just... W-what happened to the others? We weren't sharing rooms with each other. I-I was with Marzia! What if... what if she's here? What if she's hurt?!" Felix's voice rose in pitch again, his arms wrapping around himself. Mark frowned, he hadn't thought about that."We'll just have to hope the girls and others are alright," he said, looking up at Jack, who'd gone pale.

"We'll just have to hope the girls and others are alright," he said, looking up at Jack, who'd gone pale.

"What about th' fans?" Jack questioned softly, "We were s'pposed ta do a panel today! And what about our family's, what'll they do?!" Mark swallowed and looked down, his arm halting it's reassuring movement along Felix's back. He then looked up at the bright sky, and the tall green trees around them. He had no idea where they were, or how it was possible for them to have been moved here in their sleep.

"I don't know what they'll do, guys... but, we can't give up. We'll just have to figure out how to get home, okay?" he said, determination filling his voice as he stood, "Now, why don't we see if we can find some food, and maybe we could find shelter for the night, too." Felix and Jack both stood and nodded, though Felix was still sniffling a bit, and Jack still appeared to be freaking out the slightest bit. Mark couldn't say he wasn't either, but he knew they couldn't give up. Too many people were counting on them.

Soon enough, after Mark made sure the other two were stable enough to not break down during their scavenge, the three amigos started to make their way through the forest. They saw things they didn't know existed, like giant bugs and colorful creatures. But, what halted them, was about an hour after they started wandering in search of food and shelter. There was a Brachiosaurus towering above them, it's head hidden by the tall pines surrounding them. The three youtubers gapped like fish out of water at the sight.

"Is that a-" Jack started, but couldn't finish.

"Javla helvete," Felix muttered in awe.

"That's a dinosaur," Mark stated simply. He swallowed and stepped closer to the large animal. He barely reached it's hind knee in height, and as he stared up at the underbelly of the beast, he felt an overwhelming sense of... awe? He shook himself and looked away, his neck aching from looking directly above him for who knows how long. But, as his eyes trailed the ground, he found some familiar looking berries below him. A small raspberry bush was growing there, and as he looked up, he saw, on the other side of the dinosaur, bushes of raspberries.

"Hey, guys!" he called quietly, hoping they could hear him. He waved his hand towards himself and turned back toward them. The other two were busy staring up at the ancient beast in confused wonder. Mark sighed and made his way back to them. "Guys!" he said once he was close enough, "I found raspberries on the other side of Brachy here," he said, giving the dinosaur an impromptu nickname. He motioned with his hand for the two to follow him, and they did.

Once they marched under the belly of the dinosaur, Mark proudly opened his arms to show the bushes of berries. The three boys practically dove into their finding, starving after missing breakfast, possibly lunch by this point, and running and walking around for hours on end. As the boys were finishing eating their fill, they froze at the sound of rustling bushes. All three turned their heads to the same spot in fear, before practically melting from an overload of adorableness.

A small dinosaur poked it's head up from the bush, big eyes staring at them. It was a baby Brachiosaurus, presumably that of the larger one directly behind them. It made a little squeaking sound and all three boys cooed, before panicking at the feel of hot air behind them. Slowly they turned, to come face to face with the giant that had been previously above them. Mark swallowed, his eyes widening. He didn't dare look over to the others to see how they were reacting. He was amazed though, as the dinosaur snorted on them again, it's head tilting ever so slightly to the right, before moving over to it's young one in the bushes. It's long neck craned over the boys, and it's nudged the little one with it's nose lightly.

Mark took this as a great distraction, so he turned slightly ands pushed Felix into jack, "Let's go," he whispered, pushing the two to get moving. Surprisingly, they managed to get away. Once they were, what they hoped anyway, far enough, Mark smiled.

"That was sO COOL," he cried out happily. His arms reached up into the air as he smiled, and Jack and Felix both laughed at him. Mark was glad they could relax a bit, especially considering the situation of 'WE DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE AND THERE ARE _FUCKING DINOSAURS_ AND WHAT THE HELL'.

Mark chuckled lightly, eyes searching around, "Hey, is that a... a cave?" he asked, pointing to what appeared to be a dark hole in a giant rock hill thing not too far off. The other two turned to where he was pointing, before turning to each other and shrugging.

"Maybe? Seems too simple..." Jack said, "But we should check it out, it can't hurt, right?"

Mark nodded, "Very true," he said, turning to Felix for his opinion. The frosty haired Swede nodded with a shrug. Mark smiled, and led the way. It was, indeed, a cave opening in the side of the rock face. Mark hesitantly looked inside, gamer instincts telling him to bring a light with him He felt around in his pockets for his phone, before remembering he was still in his pajamas, and his phone had been on it's charger on the bedside table.

"Hey, either of you two have your phone on you? It'd be nice to, uh, have some light in there," he said with an awkward chuckle. He turned to see both Jack ad Felix feeling around their pockets, before coming to the same conclusion as him. No phones. Which they'd have to figure out how to make fire.

"So, uh... anyone know how to make some fire? Wanna try banging some rocks together, or rubbing sticks?" he asked them, his eyes already searching the ground for sticks and stones. He picked up a fairly hefty stick, could work as a torch, he thought to himself. He went around collecting a few more sticks, Jack and Felix doing the same around the area. Once they'd collected a fair amount, they set aside half for a future fire, before trying to make their first. It took them way too long to figure out how to make it. But when they finally managed to get a spark, they yelled in celebration. Soon they had a small fire.

Mark hefted his 'torch stick' as he dubbed it, before realizing he should probably have something atop it so the fire wouldn't immediately start eating the wood. He looked around before sighing. He set his stick down, before grabbing his shirt and ripping a long strip from around his waist with a grunt. Jack and Felix both clapped at his 'display of strength' and he smirked, bowing. Then, he wrapped the fabric around the top of his stick, attaching it so it wouldn't slip down. Then, he held it above the small flame. When it lit, he made a dramatic noise, holding the 'torch' above his head.

"I. Have made. FIRE."

And then a froze, hearing a grunt behind him. A man, similar to those they'd run into earlier, but with a smaller nose and a rounder face, stood in the entrance of the cave. He held a large stick in his own hand, and an angry scowl could be seen behind his beard. Mark swallowed, but held his fire stick up defensively. The man charged him with a growl, shouting what Mark assumed were words in another language.

Mark squealed like the man baby he is, an slashed with his own stick, catching the mans arm. The man yelped, before going again, but this time towards the undefended Jack and Felix. Or, Jack, Felix seemed to have disappeared. Mark was about to charge the man, and hopefully stop him before he could reach Jack, when a stone hit the mans head.

"Hey! Stay away from my friends, you- you barrel!" Felix's voice shouted from the left. He held a handful of rocks and was pelting the man with them. He laughed with each hit, before screaming like a girl as the man stumbled towards him. The damage Felix had done was obvious, but it was also obvious the man was still angry, if not more so.

Jack had picked up a stick while Felix distracted the stranger, and cane up behind him, bashing his head with it before he could get to Felix. Mark came up to aid his friend with the fire stick, accidentally catching the mans hair, and beard, on fire.

Jack freaked out when he saw this, and made a really good swing at the mans head, cracking his skull. The man made an odd little noise before collapsing. The youtubers panted for breath, staring down at the man. The sun was lowering, dusk approaching the youtubers and the fallen stranger. They ended up stumbling away from him, taking their makeshift torch and heading into the cave opening.

"Did we... did we just kill him?" Jack asked in a soft voice once they had brought in their other sticks and created a bigger fire place. Mark let out a shuddering breath.

"I-I think we did..." he mumbled, looking up at the other two. Jack had his arms wrapped protectively around himself, holding his knees to his chest and rocking slightly. Felix was curled in the fetal position on the ground, staring blankly at the fire. Mark sighed, rubbing his arms a bit.

"I'm going to step outside for a minute, maybe I can gage what time it is," he said quietly, standing from his place at the fire. He grabbed the torch stick, they'd stomped it out after making the fire, so he had to re-light it. He then made his way to the opening of the cave, and looked up. There was a surprisingly clear view of the sky, and it took his breath away.

He had never seen the sky so full of stars. There were some he didn't even recognize, and the colors of the milky way were easily visible. He didn't know how long he sat there, staring at the sky, but soon enough he felt a cold hand on his shoulder. Felix was there, smiling softly, tears in his eyes.

"You think we'll make it home?" he asked softly, Swedish accent thicker than normal. Mark smiled and nodded his head, answering with a soft, 'yeah'. He patted his friends hand, still resting on his shoulder, before standing.

"Let's go get some sleep," he said, leading his friend back into the cave. Mark smiled as he saw Jack curled up on the floor, appearing to already be asleep. Mark got himself as comfortable as he could, hearing Felix shuffling about as well.

"Goodnight guys..." he said softly, yawning as he closed his eyes.

"Sleep tight" he heard Felix mumble, shifting again.

"Don' let tha bed bugs bite," Jack's Irish voice said from his area, voice tired and slow. Mark suppressed a sleepy chuckle, and quickly fell asleep.

...

When Mark next awoke, he was lying on something comfortable, his head resting on something warm that moved up and down. He could feel small fingers playing with his hair. He sat up almost immediately after that clicked, staring with wide eyes at the person next to him. He was in a hotel bed, with Amy next to him, her blond hair messily falling about her.

Her eyes were obviously tired and worried, and she was makeup-less. He saw a zit on her chin, and wrinkles around her eyes from smiling. She was absolutely beautiful. He smiled wide, _had it been a_ dream?, he couldn't help but wonder. He pushed the thought, and all others from his dinosaur infused 'dream', and focused on Amy with a smile.

"I missed you,"

"Nice to know I can be missed while you sleep," she murmured, "Now, let's get up. You have a panel today, Mister Markiplier," she said with a chuckle. With that, the two got out of bed, getting ready for the day. When he and Amy made it downstairs, meeting up with the others, he looked to Jack and Felix with a smile.

"You will not believe the dream I had last night," they all said at the same. They all looked at each other in awe, "Dinosaurs. Pajamas. Fire." they all said, before laughing.

 _Maybe it wasn't a dream_ _after all_ , Mark thought as they enjoyed their time together before their Panel, all three sharing a knowing look.

* * *

*Amphicyon (the dog-bear creature at the mid-beginning)


End file.
